The dog that made me realise I am a mummy!

"I don't want a dog!"

I've never had a dog - and when Aaron and I started dating I had a cat, Jack. She was my first pet (well, there were "those" tadpoles and the gerbil from Yorkshire) and was pretty independent which suited me to the ground!

One of Jacks strong points was that she was very content to be alone or be cuddled, the only thing she needed from me was feeding (yes, "she")  I loved her a lot and Aaron learnt to tolerate her (I caught the odd tickle when he thought I wasn't looking!)  Sadly - after a house move, 8 months later she went out one day and never came home.  We've been reassured that if she had been involved in an accident that we would know (chipped) so I live in the ignorant hope that she found someone with better cat food than me... I still cry years on, she was an absolute darling and I did love her a lot.

Then came Luna... Aaron wore me down! Told me he needed a dog for work... promised me he would look after her and so we went to meet her, and yup - I fell in love...

She moved in and very quickly became one of the family, and the one thing I love about her is her ability to be so wonderfully gentle with all of you kids. Protective even. Eventually you all got the hang of not running so she didn't, and not waving your arms in the air like you just didn't care, and she is calm and happy to see you all.

What I was not prepared for was my emotion when she got sick.  Eating poison that was not disposed of as hazardous waste should be, out in a field - being rushed to hospital to be worked on for 8 hours flat. When the vet said "she is dying" my world was crashing - this emotion I was feeling, I didn't know it. 
Maternal love. 
Ah, so that is what it feels like! To see my dependent baby fighting for her life and not being able to help, and actually feeling guilty that it was my fault...

A few weeks later after another "she's dying" and a massive surgery, she is recovering at home and its receiving a LOT of love, looking forward to seeing you all at Christmas time.

But what I need you to consider is, that your parents have those emotions and more for you - so do me a favour please? 

• Don't forget to let them know you are safe
• Don't forget to call/text
• Don't put yourself in positions of danger
• Don't drink and drive
• Don't do drugs
• Don't walk unsafe routes at night

            All of that sensible stuff - cos that feeling, is the worst feeling I've ever known, including being told I may die...